Contemplative

Sometimes I think I was more of a contemplative when I worked at TSYS. There was just something about sitting isolated in my cube in front of a computer screen all day that gave you time to think and write. I had to be there, and though my job was to write in database languages, the English language had so much more life. And so my mind would wander, and my keyboard would record what I saw and heard.

Now there are so many distractions. I am more free, and yet true freedom exists within some boundary. Not that I am itching to go back to TSYS. It was a good job, and I am immensely thankful for my time there, but those days are past and I am thankful for that, too.

It's no wonder the monastics write the way they do, with thoughts that usually reside two or three levels deeper than most of us exercise from day to day. The monks are confined to the same place and to the same work day after day. This is torture - unless it's your calling. And unless, because of the regimen, your spirit is able to delve into the depths of the mysteries of God.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at except that maybe if we want to contemplate the riches of God in Christ Jesus, we might have to give up some freedom in order to gain it truly. We might have to give up some entertainment. We might have to submit ourselves to boredom, which is the greatest fear of our generation. And when we are willing to do this, and when we sit still for just another moment longer, perhaps something in the depths will begin to be seen and to be heard: light and "wake up!"